CLIENT: What’s this statement for?
ME: Must be for domain name service as it’s the only service I do for you
CLIENT: I don’t owe you anything.
ME: Sorry if you paid these, would you kindly send me details of that payment
CLIENT: I didn’t receive these invoices
ME: Sorry but as per our facebook conversation last summer, your email is not working. You can see the invoices by clicking on the link on the statement
CLIENT: I’ll pay them tomorrow. My website is not working
ME: That’s because your domain has expired
CLIENT: Renew it then
ME: Happy to. Please pay statement + this year’s fee and I’ll get right on that.
CLIENT: I’ll do it tomorrow
ME: Okay I’ll renew it tomorrow.
CLIENT: That sounds like extortion.
ME: Sorry you feel this way
CLIENT: My website is still down. Give me auth code.
ME: Sure thing, once I receive payment I’d be happy to
CLIENT: This is stupid. I already paid
ME: Sorry I’ve been so busy responding to your (nasty) emails I didn’t notice the payment advice come through (after we started this conversation). Thank you for your payment.
CLIENT: Give me my auth code.
ME: I’d be happy to!